Living Relentlessly

I’ve decided to stop writing in every blog entry the following beginning to a sentence, “I can’t believe it’s already ____”. Time is flying and I find myself saying this all the time, so you can imagine my relief/surprise/celebration/awe at the fact that I have successfully completed my first quarter of my first year of teaching. We are heading into the 2nd week of 2nd quarter and it just doesn’t seem to be slowing down. This is quite already with me because with each day that speeds by, I learn something new and get that much more comfortable with what I’m doing…and I would say more proficient as well!

My apologies that I went about 4 weeks without posting…so let me first do some updating. My students took their first big test 3 weeks ago over Goal 1 (we teach by math learning goal and there are 5 of them total). Our classroom goal is to get 80% mastery on all learning goals throughout the year, because that will mean my students are ready to take the EOG (End of Grade test that is required by NC and determines their math placement next year and ultimately the students eligibility to advance to high school). After giving my first test, my overall mastery for all 69 of my students is 76.2%. This is exciting for the first test and the fact that it covered nearly 8 weeks of material. The breakdown of that was that 32 students mastered Goal 1 (got 80% of above) and 14 came really close (scored between 70-80%). We are not into Goal 2 and will be done with it by Thanksgiving because it is much shorter. I’m really encouraging my kids to get 80% or higher on this Goal and I’ve told them I would cut my hair into a mohawk if all 69 students average 80% or better!

After Goal 1 ended, so did the quarter. I didn’t remember from my own years in middle school that everything is ran in terms of quarters. Being on block schedule in high school and then semesters at college I have come to expect that everything is done on a semester basis (grades, etc). So I was a little surprised when I realized that the end of 1st Quarter meant putting in final grades for that quarter, having parent-teacher conferences about that quarter, and basically starting everything over, from grades, to behavior, to even procedures. It gave me a good opportunity to reflect on what was working and what might need to change. So 2nd Quarter has seen a few changes in my room that I think will ultimately lead to more sanity on my part and more efficiency for the students.

Parent-teacher conferences were interesting. I sat in on about 25 over the course of one day and found it very interesting to meet the parents and families of my students. Overwhelmingly, the parents are so supportive and are more than willing to help out with getting their student on a track for success. Definitely not the horror stories I heard about a lack of parent involvement, although I did see that with a few parents, but not in a really bad way.

Since the last time I posted I have also had my first official observation by my school’s administration and it went really well. My assistant principal gave me a very positive write-up along with recommendations for growth that would take me from being at a “standard” rating (which is typical and most every teacher stays on that level) to an “above-standard” level. I’m just glad to have that out of the way and not have to worry about it for a few months. I’ll have 3 observations total and I think January is the next time I’ll have to worry about that.

Unrelated to school, I have finally fallen in love with Charlotte. It took a little while for me to come around to the city because of my initial disappointment with the smaller size than my beloved summer home, Chicago, and my hometown of Atlanta, but I have grown to really appreciate the smaller city feel. I have a pretty good grasp on the streets and my directional sense is getting better all the time. Most importantly, I have found some really great restaurants and hang-out spots that my fellow TFA teachers and I now like to frequent on the weekends and the occasional Thursday night. Finding spots like that that become familiar is what I think will really allow me to claim Charlotte as my own.

I leave you with a few pictures of me teaching in my classroom and some pictures of me taking a few of my students to a basketball game (Charlotte Bobcats vs. Atlanta Hawks on Nov. 6th).

Giving a quiz to my 4th block!

My coworker and fellow TFA corps member Adam Lawrence and I each got to take two of our students to the game.

Wow. I can’t believe that I am entering Week 6 of teaching. This week will begin the month of October. I have been told by many, both in the TFA world and out of it, that October is usually the roughest month of the fall semester (February is apparently the worst of the spring, and the year for that matter). I’m bracing myself for things to get rough, but I think I’m ready for whatever comes my way.

As I mentioned in my last post, I am really getting into a groove with everything. I almost feel bad talking to other TFA folks because I seem to be really fortunate in my situation. My kids don’t sound as bad as everyone else’s, my results could be better but overall are on point with most of everyone’s who are seeing results thus far, and I’m typically planning for the whole week on the weekends (or at least by Monday or Tuesday). I’m in a routine and it is really beginning to flow. Not to say that I’m spending much less time working cause I’m still logging anywhere from 70-90 hours of work each week (however, I did catch a few TV shows this week!) Some of my close TFA friends are still trying to gain control of their class in order to begin the process of getting to the place I’m at. Not to say that is their fault whatsoever, I’m just fortunate. Some other schools sound like night-and-day compared to mine and the students are so incomparable we might as well be talking about apples and oranges. I know that I put A LOT of work in at the beginning, but I’m convinced it’s a combination of that and the stuff that is out of my locus of control that are working together to put me on the track I’m on with my students.

Other than teaching, which isn’t much, I’ve been trying to stay on top of my TV shows and catching up on movies I’ve missed over the past few months. Also, friend time has been scarce but necessary and enjoyed when it can be. A friend came in from the ENC corps (Eastern North Carolina) and I also go to see a few Charlotte folks this weekend. I have really started to miss these guys since I went home two weekends in a row. Next weekend will either be a relaxing weekend in Charlotte, or a crazy, fun weekend to Athens to catch the LSU v. GA game. We shall see.

On the eve of week 4, I’m feeling pretty good. I have a general plan for the next five days and I even have a powerpoint presentation ready to go for tomorrow on my new LCD projector. Sending out my student’s first progress reports and they aren’t great, but maybe this will light a fire under them! Overall, I’ve really gotten to a point where I feel like I’m in a good flow and getting the hang of this whole teacher thing. I can’t believe how it’s starting to fly by…is it really mid-September? Also starting to look forward to several things: TFA friends coming in town, a possible game in Athens, and father down the road…the holidays and my sister’s due date. Those things aren’t clouded by the dread of the work I’m doing, so I can now start looking forward to things again!

Went home this weekend for my cousin Lorissa’s wedding. It’s crazy that she is married! At the risk of sounding cliche, it’s completely surreal and hasn’t hit me yet. I can remember like it was yesterday having a conversation with her about how she didn’t want me to go away to college “when we grew up” because I wouldn’t be at family functions anymore. We were like 10. She is now a wife. The other part that makes this crazy is that out of the 6 grandchildren/cousins on that side of my family, I’m the only one left that is neither married or a parent. 4 are married, 4 are parents or step-parents. Also, I’m the third oldest. Crazy. But I have no interest in that right now, just not the time for me, and that’s okay.

Here are pictures:

My cousin (the bride) and I

My wonderful mother and I

The sister and I

I made it through my first full week. I taught content. I gave my first quiz. I now successfully know every name of all of my students, and after reading through 2 surveys for each one, I feel like I know them all. THIS is why teachers are able to say that they love their jobs even when they aren’t sleeping, working 80 hours a week, and getting paid hardly anything for it.

This first full week brought a few challenges. The sheer length of the week and the energy that required to stay on my game for 5 straight days and 5 straight mornings of 5:20 am alarm wake-ups was probably the biggest challenge. Also, my perfect little angels from that first week began to talk a little more and get a little more comfortable in my classroom, causing them to behave a little less than ideal. Ultimately though the behavioral issues weren’t all that bad and it wasn’t that a silent lunch or a threatened phone call home couldn’t handle.

The first quiz didn’t go as great as I had hoped. Throughout the week I really saw understanding and the students seemed to be grasping the concepts. However, the quiz results weren’t great: average of about a 7o in my 1st block and a 50 or 60 in my 2nd and 4th blocks. I reflected on everything this weekend and decided that this was a result of both my lack of careful planning, and a lack of trying really hard on the kids part. So this week, I’m starting things off with a speech about trying harder, both on my part and on their part, and we’ll see where that takes us for this Friday’s quiz. This week’s topic: rational numbers.

The three-day weekend for Labor Day was crucial. My best friend Kelly came in town and helped me with my work and also helped me to remember what it feels like to have a social life (outside of TFA) and feel like a person again. I got 8-9 hrs of sleep each night and watched a handful of movies. It was great to relax, sleep, do some fun stuff, and still manage to get a good bit of work done.

I am now in a pretty good place for this week. I even ironed enough clothes for the next two weeks of work. I’m trying to plan ahead because I’m flying home to Georgia next weekend to go to my cousin’s wedding in Alabama. It will be nice to be home, even if I get a little behind on stuff.

Here’s hoping that this 4-day week goes smoothly and is a success for both me and my students.

Days that I’ve been a teacher: 9. (And since I AM a math teacher…that means I’m 5% done with the year!  )

Wow. I’m really a teacher now. This is crazy.

This week, 75+ students began referring to me as Mr. Cabeza. This has been a surreal and overwhelming week. On the one hand, I’ve been stressed out to the max about what all needs to get done, and the pace at which things happen once the school year starts going. On the other hand, my students are INCREDIBLY well-behaved and seem to be very motivated already. I almost feel like I need to re-evalutate my BIG GOALS for the students because they may already be at a level where they can reach the ones I currently have for them (80% mastery on all objectives and passing the End-Of-Course test). 

Day 1: I felt like I was going to throw up. However, once the kids started to pour in, I felt much more relaxed and natural. This age group is perfect for me…very manageable and yet interesting and funny enough to still enjoy it. This day went off without a hitch, just a lot of administrative stuff and get to know you activities.

Day 2: Another smooth day. I got my first student hug. It melted my heart.

Day 3: Today I gave my students a diagnostic test for the year. They not only completed it quietly, but when they were finished they started independent reading. I also removed a boys bathroom stall door because it had been kicked down. Oh, middle schoolers.

Day 4: It’s Friday! My first week is done. I played badminton with a fellow teacher when the day was over as a way to relieve some stress with physical activity. This particular teacher has been the BIGGEST help with everything. She is another 7th grade math teacher, she’s Indian and from London, and she basically = awesome!

So during these first four days, my WONDERFUL mother and sister paid me a visit to basically help me live my life. I have been so stressed out that I haven’t been had time to do the simple things in life like grocery shop, clean, etc. So my mom and sister came out to Charlotte and helped me with those exact things. My mom and sister stocked me up with 2-3 weeks of food, cleaned my apartment, did my laundry, ironed my clothes for next week, and helped me alphabetize all my files. It was seriously the most helpful thing ever and I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through this first week without their help! PLUS, I got to see/feel my sister’s huge pregnant stomach. I even barely got to feel baby Caroline moving around!

Spending time with Candice AND baby Caroline!

Overall, I’m very relieved that this week is now over. 4 days of school down, 176 days left. I now feel like I can do this. It’s going to be VERY hard, but I’ve already began to see the extrinsic rewards for which this profession is known. I already genuinely care about my students and can’t wait to see them learn and grow this next year. I only hope that I can be a positive influence and a good teacher and mentor to them!

Thanks for the all the thoughts and prayers during this first week!

Days that I’ve been a teacher: 4  :)

So my classroom is done. But am I ready for 67 7th graders to enter my room and meet their new math teacher? We shall see tomorrow…

Until that report (which probably won’t come until this weekend), here are pictures of the finished product!

So tonight was Open House at Northridge! I was told going into the event that there are only about 10-15 families that come for an entire team (about 150 kids). However, tonight was different. I am on a team of 6 teachers (all of which are AWESOME!) and we all met together in one room (which is really awesome, because MY room is no where near being done. We filled that room up and gave our little joint presentation.

We did that four times…each time to a standing room only classroom.

This is awesome because this means that we will have VERY involved parents this year! Also, it meant that I got to meet several of my homeroom students. Since the school is still finalizing all the schedules, I don’t have full rosters for all 3 blocks of math, but I DO have my homeroom list. So based on that list, I was able to meet about 10-15 students who I should have in both homeroom and 1st black math. It was sooo cool to finally get to meet the students I will teaching for the whole next year.

I really needed tonight. Something I have been sort of struggling with is investment in what I am doing. It’s been a little big difficult to come home after working about 12 hours at school and then doing about another 5-6 hours of work at home…day in and day out. I haven’t seen a paycheck yet and I hadn’t seen any of the faces of the students I was doing all this work for. I was losing sight of what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. After tonight however, I am reenergized and re-invested in the mission and my job. I can’t wait until Tuesday when I get to meet ALL of my students and begin building relationships with them, working with them to change their life paths through math, and hopefully having an overall positive influence on their lives.

After tonight, I don’t care about the fact that I haven’t started lesson planning yet, or that my classroom is FAR from being finished, or that I don’t even know how many levels I might be teaching (there are three levels of 7th grade math in Charlotte). These things don’t matter because I have been reminded of why I am here. The kids.

It also doesn’t hurt that I am realizing that I am a part of one of the best middle schools that TFA places into. The school has started adopting a ton of “TFA ways” of doing things, from tracking student data to planning backwards. For some people, it’s a blessing to even have your administration support TFA. For me, I not only have full, 100% support, but an administration that believes in the movement so much that it has even adopted some of the catchphrases (such as when my principal declared that the education gap in the US is today’s “civil rights” movement – which is completely accurate and one of TFA’s primary messages). I have already fallen in love with the administration and staff at my school and can’t wait to spend the next 2 years with them.

Another interesting fact about this week is that it has been EXACTLY ONE YEAR since I became interested in TFA and began the application process. I didn’t turn my application in until mid-September, but by this time last year, I was reading a book about TFA and obsessively memorizing the website and beginning to gather materials for the application. It’s crazy that the last year of my life has been spent preparing in various ways for what is about to happen next Tuesday. I’m so glad that it is finally here. So all nerves and stress aside, I am so ready for the school year to start and to finally see my dream of being a part of the movement to close the achievement gap in America realized!

Days until students: 5  :)

So there was a confusion at my school, and I initially got the keys to the wrong room. Mr. Cabeza, the 7th grade math teacher, will ACTUALLY be in Room 703!

The entrance to my school!

The front of the building

Room 703...my ACTUAL room. Will need a little MORE work, but also has serious potential. The blue walls are staple board...should make hanging stuff easier!

We are officially done with initial professional development with TFA. We start “New Teacher Workdays” with Charlotte-Mecklenberg Schools Wednesday. Days until students: 14! Eek!

I have an insane to-do list going into these last two weeks of preparation! I have mentally been trying to prepare myself for the craziest year of my life (as told by so many 2008 corps members) and I’m not sure I’m quite ready for that. To help us deal with the stress and anxiety, myself and two other corps members decided to take a day trip to Charleston Sunday. We drove 7 hours round trip to be on the beach for 3 hours! It was well worth it though…

A relaxing and enjoyable escape!

Fellow beach bums. They're both from California and needed to see the ocean to help cure some homesickness!

Still trying to find the balance between work, play, work, new friends, work, sleep, and work. So far so good.

Today is my dad’s 50th b’day. Happy b’day Dad!

So I have arrived. I now live in North Carolina. I am a resident of Charlotte. I am a teacher and work for Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools.

I truly feel like a new chapter has started in my life. During previous major transitions in life, I don’t believe I was of the cognitive awareness and capable of the level of reflectivity needed to really embrace the meaning of such a “life” change. This time, however, I fully realize that I am beginning fresh in every aspect of my life. New job, new friends, new residence, new city, new state, and the list goes on and on. I also am experiencing the biggest learning curve of my life. It’s daunting, it’s challenging, it’s inspiring, and it’s exciting.

I really like my new apartment and Jimmy and I are settling in well. I can tell that I lucked out in the roommate department. Actually, all the Charlotte people are great. I’m so blessed to be a part of such an awesome group of people all focused on two goals: student achievement and loving life.

We are currently in the middle of training with TFA and we will be starting “new teacher work days” with the school district next week. So far it has been a whirlwind of making a plan for the year and getting ready for our first unit (I’m teaching my 7th graders “Data Analysis” first, so YAY for box-and-whisker plots!) I’m excited to be actually getting into what I’ll be doing with my students but I’m also feeling the pressure and have occasional moments of overwhelm. Ultimately though, I know I have it in me to make it through the tough stuff and stay focused on being the best teacher I can be for my students.

One of the more challenging things this fall is going to be trying to balance my new job and my ambitiously big teaching goals with the desire to enjoy Charlotte and have some fun with my fellow corps members. I already have weekend trip ideas to the Biltmore House, Charleston, Athens (Go Dawgs!), and camping somewhere in the middle of the state…but the question becomes…when does this happen in the midst of all the lesson planning, unit planning, paper grading, achievement tracking, parent calling, etc? This will be a challenge for which I look forward to finding a solution.

We haven’t had much down time thus far, but I have been able to get out a little in Charlotte. So far, my favorite thing about the city is that it is big enough to have 5 of any type of store or restaurant you could think of (seriously, try me) but it also feels homey and welcoming, comparable to a glorified college town. I believe this is just the beginning for the love affair between me and the Queen City.

In other news, I never thought I would say this, but I kind of miss Institute. That crazy little thing that some call “TFA boot camp” was actually a great experience and I miss the people and fun I had.

Days until I have students: 21

In this past week, I finished Institute, drove 12 hours home to Georgia, unpacked and laundered, and then packed up my life. I knew that this summer would be a whirlwind, but I’m kinda glad it’s about to be over and I’ll be settled for good in Charlotte!

The last week of Institute was bittersweet and a roller coaster of emotions. These included the following:

Relief – I’m done with the most intense training I’ve ever experienced; Sadness – to leave all the friends I have made at Institute that will not be joining me in Charlotte, and leaving Chicago itself; Frustration – from the feeling that I’m still not ready to be a teacher and my 6.5 hours of teaching experience isn’t enough; Excitement – to finally be getting down to Charlotte and to move into my apartment; Proud – to feel like an actual teacher.

Overall, I can’t believe it’s over. It felt like months and months of time, and yet I can look back on the experience and say it flew by. I find it awesome to now claim friends in Kansas City, South Dakota, Boston, Chicago, Eastern North Carolina, and Milwaukee. It sucks to be so far away from those people I would prefer to see more often, but it is also awesome to know I have a free place to stay and a welcoming teacher friend if I ever choose to visit those places. 

After our last week of teaching and giving our students their final assessment (on which my students all made very impressive gains from their pre-assessments) we spent our last few days polishing our new knowledge and skills and celebrating and enjoying each other. This took the form of many social outings with the Charlotte corps and our CMA groups, and also some really awesome school-wide activities. One of these school-wide activities happened on the last day and was extremely touching to me. All 80+ people sat in a circle facing outwards. In rounds, 10-12 people would come to the middle and complete sentence prompts that started with “Touch someone who…” As each prompt was read, the people in the middle would go around the circle and touch the people that embodied that particular quality or distinction or characteristic. It was such an incredibly powerful feeling to be touched after a prompt like “…who has been a leader” or “…who has meant something to you” or “…who you respect”. I have heard that you need 8 meaningful touches a day in order to psychologically feel “loved” or “cared for”…after that activity, I have enough assurance in those areas to last me a long while.

Closing ceremonies was a particularly special time for me. As I previously stated, I had been feeling frustrated and scared that I have not been adequately trained and prepared to be a teacher in less than a month. I had lost sight of the vision of what I am doing and why I am here, and why, no matter how much I know or don’t know, I’m going to do everything I can do for my students. They showed a video of lots of different corps members teaching during the summer and it was so inspiring to see what we had done in just 5 weeks. I was fortunate to be featured in the video for about 10 seconds and to have the entire Charlotte corps clapping for me. It was enough to move the coldest and stoniest of hearts, and it’s exactly what I needed to regain my sense of possibility and purpose, and to rediscover that motivation that I had 10 months ago when I first heard about the TFA movement.

On Saturday I drove home to Georgia on a 12 hour solo road trip. This time was well-needed, as it was a time of solitude, reflection, mind-numbing jamming out and dancing, and just an overall decompression of everything that has taken place over the last 6 weeks. It also consisted of 3 Full Throttles and several phone calls to try to stay awake! Since I’ve been home I have mainly just been organizing my life, packing, spending time with family, the BFF, my pets, and catching up on a certain summer TV show that I had 18+ hours of saved on my Tivo.

Tonight, I sit in an empty room that echos when you talk. I’m not too sad to be leaving home in a more permanent sense this time, because I have realized that even if I wasn’t doing TFA, there really isn’t anything here for me except for my family. I have an apartment, a new job, and an incredible new community waiting on me in Charlotte and I couldn’t be more excited to get up there and start this new chapter. It feels incredible to finally have something to be living and working for again, and to be surrounded by like-minded people all living and working for the same thing. I will truly miss my family and friends, but I know this is the right move for me right now and I’m trusting God to keep everyone in my life that needs to be there as well as keep me on my own personal path to success and happiness.

I move into my new apartment tomorrow and start work on Friday, so stay tuned for the first parts of my adventures in Charlotte. Countdown to the first day of school: 28 days.